Teens rarely tell teachers, counselors, or police about violent incidents. They think people will blame them for what happened, especially if they're still dating the person.

Violence affects young people regardless of income, ethnic group, education, or type of family they've been raised in. Injuries range from mild to severe. Some kids even die.

Guys think they're supposed to be in control on a date. When a disagreement comes up, some guys use violence to make girls do what they want.

Guys sometimes have trouble talking about how they feel. They think violence is the way to handle frustration, disappointment, and anger.

Jealousy is the most common cause of dating violence. The guy makes rules about who his girlfriend can talk to and how much time she can spend away from him. He uses violence to enforce the rules and keep her to himself.

Guys who feel insecure are more likely to put up with abuse from their girlfriends, too. They feel like it's the only way to hold onto her. They believe physical pain is better than being alone.

When guys do get hurt, they're much less likely to report it, even when they are badly hurt. They lie about how they were injured. Who'd believe their girlfriend beat them up?

Girls who are violent say they were angry or jealous when it happened. They may also feel that hitting their boyfriend was the only way to defend themselves or get even for something he'd done.

Girls who see themselves as equals in their relationships experience less violence. Girls who are abused often see themselves as helpless victims. They lack self confidence and depend on their boyfriends to make them feel good about themselves.

You Can Avoid Dating Violence

Be Clear
Know that violence is not a normal part of relationships. You and those you love deserve better.

Communicate
Talk to your partner about what is and is not acceptable behavior. Don't assume you know how the other person feels or what he or she expects. Tell him or her that abuse will definitely end your relationship.

Be Realistic
You might believe that love will take care of it or that you'll be able to change the other person in time. This almost never happens.

Develop Positive Skills
Conflicts are bound to arise in any relationship. Don't wait until many things build up. Use compromise to resolve disagreements as they come up.

Take a Time Out
Whenever you feel your frustration rising to the point you might lose control, say out loud to yourself and your partner: "I'm beginning to feel angry. I need to take a time out."

Leave for 1 hour. Do something physical like running. Don't drink and drive. After 1 hour, go back and try to talk. If you feel angry again, take another time out.

Ask For Help
Couples involved in dating violence need to recognize it and seek professional help. There is no reason to think you can or should handle it alone.

Make Others Aware
Tell your friends and the other kids in your family what you know. Encourage your parents and teachers to help teens develop safe ways for dealing with intimacy, jealousy, and rejection.